I love you.

I love you. Let me get that out of the way right now. I've loved since the first day I talked to you, the first time we kissed, and the memory of your voice still rings true when the happy memories kick up. I know that there are some days where you doubt yourself, and just know that whatever you decide to do with your life, where ever your choices take, just know that I will always still love you despite our parting.

Maybe I'm feeling sentimental, maybe I'm just heart broken, maybe I'm drunk. who the fuck knows, and more importantly, who the fuck cares. I see myself not as someone who's suffered great heart break, but rather, someone who met an absolutely amazing woman, with an amazing son, and an amazing family, and for the while it lasted, we were happy.

You never truly know a person till you meet their family, and see how the family dynamic works, and with Caasi, I got to see every side of her. She's truly an amazing woman, nad there will always be a part of me that still loves always, even years from now.

Random shit

Wanted to take a moment out of my workday and just hammer out a few interesting thoughts. Also, fuck Donald trump, don't give a shite, bring on the weird comments.

First and foremost, things are going great, if you haven't already, swing on by to Amazon.com and grab your physical and ebook versions of "Wrath of Puppy monkey Baby"
right here:
https://www.amazon.com/Wrath-Puppy-Monkey-Baby-Inhumanity/dp/1533309205/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1479171969&sr=1-2

Also, why not grab your copies of "Debate of Factions" as well?

https://www.amazon.com/Debate-Factions-began-simply/dp/1539974065/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1479171969&sr=1-1

Next off, I'm working on a series of short books, a collection of short stories, a book of blogs, a book of collective tweets, Sogno Della Dinistia is becoming a real thing, and various other farts of genius I have.

The reason I've kept relatively silent on FB is because, well, I had other things to do with my time than be distracted by whatever pointless FB game is the current craze... I dunno, "Donald Trump Simulator"? The goal being to annoy your way into the Presidency?

That said, hello!
Hi!
How are you? This year is pretty shit, isn't it?
Yep, I agree, there's a lot to worry about, and quite frankly, we shouldn't just sit around with our hands under our butts, because while the majority of you thought CURRENT POTUS Obama was going to steal your guns?
The proceeding POTUS Trump REALLY will try to personally play grab ass with you.
Most likely while you're not looking.
And without you even knowing that's going to happen.

You should protest!
You should yell!
Scream!
Stand up for what you believe is true and right!
You should rage and rant, dance and throw things!
However, you should stop before it gets to the point of rioting. We still have hope the electoral College will overturn this thing, electing Clinton into office and collectively upsetting a bunch of already ticked off Republicans.

All joking aside, the protests are a great thing, taking away the Anarchists that just like punching things for no reason, because punk will never die out, keep them going, keep that fire burning brightly, and never let down!
I don't write these things because I wish to tick off a few of the more hard core Trumpers out there, but because this is my personal way of protesting, my way of helping out in a way that doesn't involve screaming stupid things into a megaphone.
I'd use a hyper-phone.
Better combo strings.

If President-Elect Dumbass Turnip is decided to be the 45th POTUS, or, in regards to him and him alone, Problem of the United States, then we should give him a chance to prove us wrong. Offering him at least a peice of wet straw paper to pull him out of the quicksand that is his slowly approaching nightmare, is the very least we can do.

So keep those protests going strong, never let up, never give up, never surrender your ability to protest, to express your thoughts, to prove to the world that you're more than just a bunch of DNA slapped together because two people got really excited about turkey. you are not alone.

#Unitedwestand, #strongertogether.
#Dividedwefall, allowing our opponents the opportunity to #makeamericagreatagain but only in their eyes.

A really great way to make america better, is to buy my books, read them, and then throw them at Dumbass Jumping Turnip when he makes his first #stateoftheunion #address.

RIP Amelie

#rip #pets I'm going to really get into the nitty gritty here, and it's going to suck for me, because I don't actually want to talk about this right now, it's way too soon... We lost a family pet this evening, she was with us for ten years, a pure bred, white, female, undocked boxer named Amelie. She was the greatest dog ever, and I know that might seems a bit childish to say, but... she really was to me. Amelie was kind of a pain in the ass, but she'd run around for ten to twenty minutes before coming back inside, sometimes this was REALLY great, and other times, like when we had somewhere to go, it was fucking insane.

She went peacefully, but in the most badass way imaginable, she took her last shit and piss in the front yard, walked straight in, head held high, barked happily that she had told Death itself to kiss her ass, and faded away in the space of a few seconds. I watched the whole thing transpire, as did my mother. And I'm still in sock at this whole thing. I'm still a bit happy that she went to the bathroom like a fucking BOSS before she went. I don't know why that made me happy. she'd been going through this horrific thing because #Alpodogfood fucked up majorly. she thinned out, her head, neck, and front legs and paws swelled up, and in the end, she still went like a mother fucking boss.

I'm sure i'll be crying tonight, it's tough to lose a dog, especially one who was so on top of things when it came to guarding the house, providing comfort, and just being a good girl. In fact, writing this, i'm starting to tear up, but I have to get through this, it's part of the mourning process, and everyone handles it differently. Amelie, to us, was THE Alpha Female of the pack. Oh, sure, there was Grace, with her six foot high jump from a solid stand still, or our Apple head chihuahua, who'll pretty much bark at everything, or even Bella, who fetches the fuck out of everything until our arms fall off.

But Amelie? Dear god, for about a year, Amelie slept in my room, and she'd plop down on my bed right next to me, and about a half hour later, she'd worm her way underneath the comforter, her ass next to the back of my head, and fart. A lot. Like, WTF levels of farting, good god, could that fucking dog make thunderstorms seem like a faint whisper.

I ended, most mornings, waking up on the floor wondering what the hell happened. After setting up my camcorder and recording the following night, I discovered that after about an hour of her machine gun tooting into my hair, I'd have a panic attack in my sleep and fall onto the floor and stay there for the rest of the night.

Truly, I was the brave one. Another memory is when my best friends, Blake and Dan came over and stayed the weekend for New Years Eve, we watched, that weird johnny Depp movie about the mind of a dying person being transferred to an A.I. platform, and then it went nuts? Amelie plopped down right next to Blake's feet for about half the movie. she knew when to leave, when Real Depp died and Fake Depp was born.

i'm still pretty numb, and I don't know when it'll truly hit me that my Baby Gir, my nickname for her, has passed away. Probably a few days, but at least I got this out of the way.

Root Canal blues

I am so fucking scared. There's no way to tell you how nervous I am about the root canal tomorrow. I haven't been under since I was a kid having tubes put in my ear, and it was the freakiest damn thing ever.
I so fuckingn ervous that any number of a hundred things could go wrong, that I'm not able to sleep right now. the only thing I can think about right now is, if something does go wrong, or they fuck something up and I bleed out, or I wind up in a coma... Who's going to finish my books? who's going to upload my videos? when will I find time to find someone to have a family with? These and many more questions keep circling through my head as I struggle to get some sleep.
I know it's nothing compared to what your going through over there, but for me, these are the fears that are keeping me from having a decent nights sleep, and hard as I try to relax,to count sheep, to do anything really, I find myself not even able to fucking drop off to snooze land.
I found myself questioning a number of things i'm attempting right now, whether the long term goals are worth the short term frustrations, whether chipping away at the mountain of doubt is my best option, or should I have worked harder to make every one of my goals a reality? Stupid pointless questions, true. but they are valid concerns that I'm having. I need to figure something out, I need to do something to smoothout whatever wrinkles are currently preventing me from getting myself some slumber.
I found myself think about us, and whther I was just fooling myself into believing somethign that might be just some idiot fantasy, or whther this was actually the real thing. questioning myself isn't going to get me any sleep, nor will doubting myself about the path I'm currently on.
I'm worried about tomorrow, terrified about it, and even though I joke and play around about the whole situation, I can't help but feel I'm out in the cold again, and I don't like being cold, never have, never will. But, I have to remind myself this:

The sun will always rise again.

Expansion

Escalation. the expanding upon of a once simple idea into a complex array of definitive answer, so that each might fully compliment or confuse the other. That is what Sogno Della Dinistia has been for me. All about escalation, all about the next stage, evolution, pushing my mind to try and find something to reinvigorate and re-energize a seemingly stale idea. When you write a story, there are four arcs that you must consider. To, as closely as you're individually able to, simulate life as put forth by your imaginations.

The first is the setup, either a grand or simple situation, like a morning breakfast, a calm breeze, or a quote from a famous or unknown book, or any number of other situations.

The second is the introduction of the Main character. Again, this follows directly into the first arc, and usually is either exciting, boring, or influential on how the book with unfold.

The third arc is the situation with which the first two arcs might have to overcome or be swallowed up by. this is pretty simplistic, and easier to do than most would think.

The fourth and final arc is the overcoming of said obstacle, and the setup for the next quartet of arcs, creating a self healing machine of creativity.

with these four arcs in mind, and admittedly, a lot of coffee, free time, a keyboard, and a need to heal whatever scars I have attained throughout my life, I have created an ever evolving, ever escalating, complex-as-the-human-genome series of books. forcing my characters through a series of permutations of evolution, giving depth and humanity to them in certainly a harrowing series of situations which must consistently and equally grow in strength to further challenge them to improve themselves.

After a certain point, you find that you are no longer the director of your book, you are merely a passenger, a parent watching their child enter the public world, and hoping to dear god they don't fall down. you find yourself merely writing down their exploits, but without a sense of control. As if you're simply a printer, and the characters themselves are writing it for you.

I constantly find a sense of enjoyment in creating, in writing the beginning of new stories or projects, even if they only become one shots, or incomplete, or just simply end. In many cases, I find myself actually wondering if the slight pull in the back of my mind is my own creativity, or if there's actually a kind of dimensional USB plugged at the base of my neck, feeding me the latest update.

As a writer, you are both the creator as well as the creation of your works. you are the living embodiment of the universe, or in my book series case, universes. I am oft times amazed at some of my creations, and wonder what further adventures they might have while I am asleep.